It's Been Awhile....

not that I haven't thought about writing and sharing, but like every other mom I've been treading water.  Keeping a balance, or at least telling myself I am anyway.  Last time I wrote I was in anticipation of Paxon's 1st birthday and now a few days from today I will be celebrating his 2nd.  Time slow down!  I know, it won't listen, so I have made it a point to just sit back and watch, enjoy and love each moment.  When Ryan and I were getting married, we heard advice from every which way, but one thing I will always hold onto is the advice of taking moments to take it all in.  Never again will you be in that moment.  With working full time, I feel like the only way to help myself though it is to take those moments and just let it sink in.  Be present in my life and my family.  I am hoping with that philosophy I will never look back and say I missed out. 

I've been sitting in front of my computer for a few minutes just thinking about how can I possibly recap all that has happened in the last 11 months? Today, my bubby turns 11 months old, he is now one month away from being a whole year old. How can this be? How can so much happen and time go by so fast? Every minute, no every second, has been an adventure. I don't want to forget anything, and yet I know I already have. It seriously is the best thing ever being a momma, I just feel so blessed.

In the Pit of my Stomach....

I have this awful, going to cry on a dime feeling. It has been there for the past two weeks. I have tried to push it to the side and pretend it wasn't there, pretend that the time wasn't passing and soon it would be the last day before school starts. But I cant pretend anymore, it's here. School starts on Monday, and even though I love the beginning of a new school year,refreshing my classroom,new school supplies and of course meeting all my new little chidlers!! I can't get this feeling to go away! I am dropping off my baby at Grandma's(daycare). I have to pack him up and say good bye, love you, be back soon. It is the most bitter sweet thing I have had to do in awhile. I know he is going to be great at Grandma's and I know it is good for him, I'm just selfish and I want to send all of that time with him! Everyone says it will get easier, I just wish I was at the easy part, this feels like a broken heart:(

 

Paxon's nursery

I have had these pictures for such along time and I am now finally posting them. You can check out the before pictures HERE, we were going for a neutral yet still boyish room if that makes sense:)

Built in shelves my husband made

Our reading nook

 

9 hours!!

We hit a mile stone 2 nights ago....a full nights rest! I did'nt do anything different, but for some reason (and I'm not complaining) Paxon has slept for 9 hours straight for the past 2 nights! I called my mom to celebrate and she said "he must have doubled his birth weight" What? I guess this is an ol' wise tale, that once a baby has doubled his birth weight he will sleep through the night. Well, whatever it is, I like it and am thankful. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a brain anymore. I like to blame it on lack of sleep so hopefully with this new found rest, my brain will come back and find me. If not...I won't have an excuse anymore:)

 

Summer SLOW DOWN

A year ago yesterday we had found out were were pregnant and now we have this beautiful baby boy in our lives.  What was life even like before Paxon? It's hard to remember.

What a great past month! I can hardly believe that Pax is almost 4 months old.  How do I go from "oh my goodness, how am I going to give birth?" to "This is the best thing ever!" We have been keeping busy this summer, with really who knows what.  The days are turning like book pages and I just want to keep re-reading the first few pages.  I know everyone says it goes fast, but this is crazy!  Summer SLOW DOWN!

Dear Paxon,
Your personality is exploding! It is so fun to just hang out with you.  You are just such a happy baby.  We started swim lesson with Griffin this month.  You two look so cute in your swim trunks.  You are all about the back float, and when your not doing the back float you keep putting your head back to let us know that's what you want to be doing.  The other night we went to open swim and by the end you were a little fussy so we took you out of the water and before we could wrap the towel around you, you were sleeping.  It was so funny.  Daddy has been able to spend so much time with us, it is so nice all of the family time.  We went to a beach in Sycamore the other day, we had no idea it was even there.  We will be going back there lots more.  We had your dedication this month and you looked so handsome in your suit.  You did a really good job while we were up in front of the church, as soon as it was over you fell asleep on your Auntie Madie.  Speaking of Auntie Madie, she loves you so much.  We hang out with her atleast once a week and she loves spoiling you with cute outfits and lots of kisses.  You are rolling over like a little alligator, people are always saying how they cant believe you are so strong.  You love your jumper and could play in it for hours if we let you.  You are finally sleeping in your crib for naps, you seem to sleep best in your crib.  I am sure you will be sleeping in there at night soon enough.  Love you to pieces Bubby! Happy 3 months!

Hanging out with Griffin

Dalila loves her Paxon

Already acting like a Schrader

Loving the back float

 Sitting at the Beach

Lovin swimming with Mommy

Growing Up Griffin: Our buddy Paxon...

Growing Up Griffin: Our buddy Paxon...: Paxon's dedication was today.  He looked SO handsome in his little suit and was so sweet (as usual)!  Griff LOVED the church service with al...

Time Does Truly Fly By....

Dear Paxon,
I can't believe your Daddy and I just took your 2 month pictures! Time went by fast before, but now with you I find myself actually trying to hold onto the minutes.  You really are a sweet baby, you have this laid back personality that I am in love with.  You stretch all of the time and when you do you look like an old man, it melts my heart.  You cry when your hungry, need your diaper changed or want your passy and when you do cry you start with your bottom lip which again melts my heart!  You are now two months old.  You are working really hard to hold your head up.  While you do that you kick your legs, I know you are going to be rolling over before we know it.  You love when Daddy comes home and know his voice very well.  He likes to hold you like a football and walk around the house, it's very cute.  I love my boys and I am so happy to be your mom, you already have changed me for the better.   I love you with all my heart bubby!

Love, Mommy

Welcome Paxon Ryan

He is finally here!! We welcomed Paxon Ryan on March 5th at 5:35pm and honestly we could not be more in love!

and like every mom says, it was an amazing experience!  I can't believe how much I love this little man.  Being 5 days late, I felt like he was never going to come.  Ryan and I were both off work and playing the waiting game, finally after having a nice dinner out with my parents on Saturday, I woke up having contractions but just waited them out, they continued the whole day but were totally barable.  My mom and dad came over and my mom told me I was in Labor, I was like "oh ok" .  I wanted to stay at home for as long as I could, so the rest of Sunday night and Monday morning were a little bit of a painful blur.  Ryan and I stayed up until 3 trying to count my contractions.  Finally I was having them about 4 minutes apart and I got nervous Paxon was going to come sooner than later.  I wanted to make sure I was at the hospital, so Ryan loaded the car and we were off.  With no one else being on the road it was sereal that we were on our way to finally meet our little man.  As soon as we got to the hospital the nurse checked me and said, "Your going to have a baby today!"  The next 5-6 hours I labored with out the epideral, but when I couldnt bare it anymore I called for the epideral, and I should have done it sooner! It was amazing! After about 20 hours of labor the doctor came in and said that the baby was facing the wrong way and we might have to do a c-section.  My whole mind set was, whatever we need to do to get Paxon out safely. But I was upset. The nurses had me do some yoga like exercises hoping that he would turn face down.  I broke down a little when my mom and aunt came in to see me.  While they were talking to me they were watching the monitor and I was saying how I was feeling so much pressure, they both smiled and said "he's coming Jaym, soon!"  As soon as they said that the nurses came in and asked how I was feeling, I said "Honestly, I feel like I'm going to poop!" my nurse said "Those are the magic words!" and after an hour of pushing Mr. Paxon was here!  Ryan was honestly the best support I could ever ask for.  Because I couldnt eat, he refused to eat, he was by my side the whole time making me and the nurses laugh and actually did the counting while I was pushing.  All our our family was there from 7 in the morning until Paxon finally came at 5:35pm. They made themselves at home in the waiting room with food and laughter.  There is nothing more special than having a baby.

Paxon's Proud Grandparents

Mema and Poppy

Little Man you are so sweet

Waiting

So I have had to wait for things in my life, I have had to be patient. Not that I am good at it by any means, but it's part of life. Not everything can happen exactly when you are ready for it or when you want it. But never in my life have I felt this kind of waiting. My phone is full of "baby yet?"texts from friends/family and all I can do is say "nope not yet" There is no final, for sure, he will be here on this date, and it is making me crazy! There is no more nesting to be done. Ryan in out cleaning my car right now because the house is spotless and he is less patient then me! I know the little man will come when he is ready, but what about me and his daddy being ready? The baby is already running the show!